Looking out the window on a clear, calm night, Carrie was exhausted yet spellbound by the beauty of the dark sky. It was one of those magical nights where she could hear the quiet rustling of trees, where sound seemed to travel three times as far as usual. The world was at peace, a standstill.
She wondered how this could be, as her life had been turned upside down. First, in a horribly cruel way, but later in a beautiful twist. After years of trying to have a baby, she and Drew had finally made it happen. It took a series of painful years-- the wondering why she couldn't get pregnant, wondering why this was happening to her. Her marriage went to the brink of divorce and back. Famly and friends rallied at first and then grew disinterested as time dragged on and treatments grew tiresome.
Finally, one day, she and Drew decided to throw in the towel. Mother Nature, or God, had won. They were beaten down by their bodies' refusals to procreate and they were done. Done with charting temps, ovulation kits, clomid, IVF. She and Drew would be okay on their own, a family of two.
Life went on....and it was fine. She grieved what wasn't meant to be and tried to reframe her life as wife and professional. Then, two years ago, she listened to a radio program on her way to work. The show was about foster care. As Carrie heard the inspiring and harrowing stories, she had to pull over. It took her breath away. To be a mother to such a fragile creature; to have such a bond while saving a child from chaos and abandonment was all she child think about.
She called Drew as soon as she got to the office. He gave the standard "let's talk about this at home", which they did for two long months. He finally came around. She knew he would.
They embarked on a long journey of social work home visits, parent trainings and waiting. Four weeks ago, they got a call. An 18 month old girl needed placement. Carrie and Drew jumped at the chance to have her and welcomed her into their home.
The tranisition was rough. Sasha, the child, was traumatized from abuse and domestic violence. She didn't trust Carrie and Drew and threw multiple hideous tantrums each day. But, they didn't give up. They would not let Sasha down like so many other adults in her life had.
Sasha woke up screaming this evening, as she had many nights before. But this time, for the first time, she let Carrie comfort her. As Carrie gently held Sasha, murmuring comforting words that mothers the world over instictively know, Sasha relaxed into a cuddle. The cuddle gave way to sleep and soon Sasha was breathing heavily, poured against Carrie. A warm bundle in her arms.
Carrie sighed and enjoyed the moment's peace. Who knew how long it would last? But for now, she had it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment